quickbewitty:

quickbewitty:

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose

beyondthegrandline:

susemoji:

where do these white dads come from

dad goals

whyswhoswhats:

shiraglassman:

candykaiju:

r u for real

this is 100% certified cute

A BABY

whyswhoswhats:

shiraglassman:

candykaiju:

r u for real

this is 100% certified cute

A BABY

ryeou:

i swear she will sleep anywhere except her own bed

cross out the things you’ve done.
Graduated high school. | Kissed someone. | Collected something really stupid. | Smoked a cigarette. | Got so drunk you passed out.Rode every ride at an amusement park. | Gone to a rock concert. | Helped someone. | Gone fishing. | Watched four movies in one night. | Gone long periods of time without sleep. | Lied to someone. | Snorted cocaine. | Failed a class. | Smoked weed. | Dealt drugs. | Been in a car accident. | Been in a tornado. | Been to a funeral. | Burned yourself. | Ran a marathon. | Cried yourself to sleep. | Spent over $200 in one day. | Flown on a plane. | Cheated on someone. | Been cheated on. | Written a 10 page letter. | Gone skiing. | Been sailing. | Have a best friend. | Lost someone you loved. | Shoplifted something. | Been to jail. | Dangerously close to being in jail. | Skipped school. | Had detention. | Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. | Stolen books from the library. | Gone to a different country. | Dropped out of school. | Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. | Had an online diary. | Had a yard sale. | Had a lemonade stand. | Actually made money at the lemonade stand. | Been in a school play. | Been fired from a job. | Swam with dolphins. | Taken a lie detector test. | Voted for someone on a reality TV show. | Written poetry. | Read more than 20 books a year. | Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. | Used a coloring book over age 12. | Had surgery. | Had stitches. | Taken a taxi. | Seen the Washington Monument. | Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. | Overdosed. | Been in a fist fight. | Gone surfing in California. | Had a hamster/guinea pig. | Pet a wild animal. | Used a credit card. | Did “spirit day” at school. | Dyed your hair. | Got a tattoo. | Got straight A’s. | Been on the Honor Roll. | Know someone with HIV or AIDS. | Made out with someone. | Played on a sports team. | Snuck out of the house. |  Swore at a teacher. | Gone laser tagging. | Had a romantic relationship. | Been on the TV. | French braided. | Skinny-dipped. | Driven a car. | Performed in front of an audience. | Gone bungee-jumping. | Been to Mexico. | Crashed a car. | Sky dived (indoor). | Been kissed in the rain. | Made an 11:11 wish. | Drank alcohol. | Forwarded a chain letter. | Made a mistake.
College kids literally don’t care about walking in the way of cars at school because we’re like “hit me i don’t care pay my tuition.”

"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"

"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"

"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"

"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."

"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"

(via infelicific)

momlonde:

righteouskungfu:

dersely:

momlonde:

do you ever see a photograph of someone really attractive from like the 1800s and you suddenly get pissed because they’ve been dead for like 200 years and you probably don’t have a chance with them

“probably”

“We have to go back”

image

you are the first person to add a comment to this that wasnt doctor who and it made me smile too bless your soul

50shadesofyodaddysdick:

omg